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Just in case you need a laugh...

Thu May 1, 2008, 7:07 PM
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                        Just in case you need a laugh

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then  pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last    


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
     :giggle: :bow:

:couch: :kiss: :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: :kiss: :couch:

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:iconpictoratus:
pictoratus Featured By Owner May 5, 2008
I laugh every time I see that! :lol:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 7, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Good!!! :D :lol:
Reply
:iconshimoonwind:
ShiMoonWind Featured By Owner May 5, 2008
:rofl: Thanks I needed that. though I don't think I want to fly as much as I used to.
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 7, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
hehehe, they are good ones!!!
Reply
:iconshimoonwind:
ShiMoonWind Featured By Owner May 8, 2008
:)
Reply
:iconaltergromit:
altergromit Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
...After hours...

:reading: :reading::reading: ^^; :reading: :reading::reading: :reading: :reading::reading: ^^; :reading: :faint: :reading:.... ....:slow:... ...:idea:!!!! :lol: :laughing: :rofl: :rofl: :giggle:.....



:hug: :teddy:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh well, after long hours, I am happy to see you laugh!!!!! :aww: :hug: :tmnt3:
Reply
:iconaltergromit:
altergromit Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:giggle: ...But you know, I told you many time I'm :slow:!! :laughing: :aww: :hug: :glomp: :teddy:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Eveyone is sometimes!!! :nod: :giggle: :hug: :tmnt3:
Reply
:iconaltergromit:
altergromit Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
...I'll try to translate some... :reading: :( ...I understand I guess 20% so... ...I'll tell you sometimes, I see something is funny *Mouse in cockpit. Cat installed.* but I'm too :slow:...
:hug: :glomp: :teddy:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
But it is fine, it is good if you find even one thing funny, something to tickle your funny bone!!! :nod: :hug: :heart: :tmnt3:
Reply
:iconaltergromit:
altergromit Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
...here is the point: to tickle your funny bone... ...In my language it sounds like someone think my bones are funny!! ...Oh well, I never paid attention to them (how could I do?) but maybe they are!! :laughing: :hug: :teddy:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
aaahhhh...ok in my language there is a bone by your elbow that we call a *funny bone* meaning supposedly touching it, or hitting it could make you laugh, but it doesn't, it just hurts...so ok well, mmm....now it sounds a stupid saying!!! :laughing: :hug: :tmnt3:
Reply
:iconaltergromit:
altergromit Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, it is the *becco dell'olecrano*!! :laughing: :nod: :hug: :teddy:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhht!!! :faint: :laughing: :hug: :tmnt3:
Reply
:iconaltergromit:
altergromit Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
How can you know that??!!... :laughing: :aww: :teddy:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 4, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:shrug: :giggle:
Reply
:iconsoloact-the-bard:
soloact-the-bard Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
I've read that before, but it was credited to the USAF. Note the one about "targeting radar". Would UPS need targeting radar? :giggle:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure they would, how do you think they deliver their airmail packages!!! :laughing:
Reply
:iconsoloact-the-bard:
soloact-the-bard Featured By Owner May 2, 2008
So they can target the FedX planes? :laughing:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 4, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:laughing:
Reply
:iconmrsstarkers:
mrsstarkers Featured By Owner May 1, 2008  Hobbyist Artist
:rofl: :lmao: that was awesome I needed that:rofl: :lmao:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:D good to see you laughing!!! :hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconmrsstarkers:
mrsstarkers Featured By Owner May 3, 2008  Hobbyist Artist
and its all thanks to the friends I have here:iconflowerdanceplz:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 4, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconmrsstarkers:
mrsstarkers Featured By Owner May 4, 2008  Hobbyist Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconhfpierson:
hfpierson Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
that was excellent and most needed!
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
my friend the most amazing photographer!!! :hug:
Reply
:iconhfpierson:
hfpierson Featured By Owner May 2, 2008
ahhh :blush: :hug:
Reply
:iconmeo429:
meo429 Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
yes, i really needed that too!! ^^
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:D :hug:
Reply
:iconpumakitten:
Pumakitten Featured By Owner May 1, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've seen that before...but always makes me laugh! Funny stuff!
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Me too!!! :hug:
Reply
:icontsims533:
tsims533 Featured By Owner May 1, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
That was great! I definitely needed that! :rofl: :lmao:
Reply
:iconteddybearcholla:
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner May 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:D Glad to be of service!!! :hug:
Reply
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